When I first became a youth pastor, I went to a Youth Specialties National Youth Workers Convention with thousands of other youth workers. Being a youth pastor was new to me, but I knew it was something I wanted to do for a long time. It was great to network and get together with other youth pastors who had the same passion that I did: helping teenagers walk with Jesus.
I learned a new vocabulary word that weekend: "lifer." A lifer is a youth pastor who intends to be a youth ministry for life. Or, I suppose, at least until retirement. I loved the sound of it, and I immediately labeled myself as a "lifer." The intent behind calling myself a lifer was to rally against those who viewed youth ministry as simply a stepping stone to another church position. However, I realize now how arrogant it is to assume I know what I'm going to do the rest of my life. After all, James tells us, "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit'— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.' (James 4:13-15, ESV).
I've adopted a new paradigm for my plans. I desire to find what God calls me to do. How do I discern this? Well, that's where the difficulty sets in. A great resource is Os Guinness' classic The Call. But for me, it wasn't the "What does God want?" part that was the most difficult part. It was (and still is) the submitting to God's perfect will that's really tough for me. And this is where I'll focus my thoughts in the next couple of paragraphs.
I never attended a Christian school until I went to seminary, but I've discovered a joke among those who have attended Christian schools in their lives, especially a Christian college: the "I just don't think it's God's will" break-up. Apparently, a guy or gal would frequently pull the "It's not God's will" card when breaking up with someone. Now, I understand that it's a valid question to ask. When I was dating my wife, there was a time when I had to sit before God and ask whether he wanted me to be with Jennifer for the rest of my life. (Good news for me, the answer was yes, and what a blessing she is!) However, we can use God's will as an excuse for doing or not doing something. So we need to get past the cheapness of the phrase and ask, "God, please lead me. I want to live in your will, and I want to do whatever you ask."
Roy, our lead pastor, often reminds us that we'd better be sure that God has called us to vocational ministry, because some days all a pastor has to fall back on is that call. I think this is especially true in youth ministry. But before we can know what God wants, we have to be willing to accept the answer, regardless of whether we like that answer. And once we know what God wants, we need to be willing to carry it through.
I got into youth ministry because I enjoyed it. And that--along with other tools, such as Scripture study, prayer, and mentoring--can be a great way to discern what God has called us to do on our earthly sojourn. But there comes a day for every youth pastor when the job won't be enjoyable. You might be criticized. You might be falsely accused. You might have a sharp disagreement with your senior pastor. Your marriage might be rocky. You might be at a loss on how to lead in a certain situation. You might have to bury a student. And you'd better have something more than "I like this job" to fall back on during those times. All of us are going to inevitably ask, "God, why am I here?" And we'll be more likely to get out of bed the next morning, ready to lead if we're relatively sure that the answer is, "Because I put you there."
Now, I'm not trying to sugarcoat this or imply that it's just that easy. I'm saying that when we do our best to simply follow God where he's leading us to go, it will make our tough days that much easier because we've got our eyes on God rather than our circumstances.
So, these days, I'm just trying to live day by day where God leads. I pray that my path continues to be right along the lives of teenagers, because I really do love what I do. But if God should lead elsewhere, I will follow--perhaps begrudgingly at first--because some days God is the only thing that I can really count on in ministry. A couple of weeks ago, I was really discouraged, overwhelmed, and I had a pretty poor attitude. I texted my wife to complain about something that was going on in my day, and she offered a simple--but incredibly helpful--reply: "Lean on the Lord."
So, if you're discouraged in ministry, lean on the Lord.
If you're unsure about where you're going, seek God's face.
If you feel like you've lost your way, be assured that you're not alone. There are several of us who feel the same way.
And if you're thinking about quitting, spend some time with your Savior and ask, "God, why did you put me here in the first place? Am I still supposed to be here?
Your circumstances may not change, but hopefully, your focus will.
Other posts in this series:
Youth Ministry, Longevity, and Calling - Part 1
Youth Ministry, Longevity, and Calling - Part 3: How to Burn Out in Ministry
Youth Ministry, Longevity, and Calling - Part 4: Is It Okay to Start in Youth Ministry and Move Elsewhere?
