Have You Seen This? "Bullied Canadian teen leaves behind chilling YouTube video"

This broke my heart today. A Canadian teen who had been brutally bullied created a YouTube video (using notes on small pieces of paper) about her pain. Later, she took her own life. Here's the story from CNN:

Her YouTube video started out innocently enough. The Canadian teen, her face obscured from the camera, held a stack of cards each filled with messages in black marker.

"I've decided to tell you about my never ending story," the card in Amanda Todd's hands read.

At this point the viewer may have no idea that they are about to be led on the most agonizing journey, one that pushed the premier of British Columbia to issue a stern warning against bullying, a journey that has birthed a Facebook page with thousands of people commenting many offering condolences.

In the soundless, black and white video, the teen showed one card after another. Each card painfully sinking the viewer deeper into the anguish too many teens have experienced.

"In 7th grade I would go with friends on webcam," the card in the teen's hand read.

...

"No one deserves to be bullied. No one earns it. No one asks for it. It is not a rite of passage. Bullying has to stop. Every child has to feel safe at school," Clark said in a You Tube video posted Thursday.

On Wednesday, Amanda Todd's body was found in her home, police in the Vancouver-area city of Coquitlam said. She took her own life.

She was 15.

I saw this today as I prepare for a series starting in a couple of weeks on very difficult issues teens face. Bullying will certainly be a part of it. Read the whole story from CNN.

Video of the Week: Rainn Wilson on the Teen Brain

Caught this earlier this week on Tim Schmoyer's site, and it's definitely worth sharing here:

What every youth worker needs to know about high school students

I've been a youth pastor for a little over seven years now. Last summer, my family and I moved to Utah, where I was hired as the high school pastor at a church. I've always loved working with both junior and senior high students, but my strengths seem to make me better suited for older students. So, I was excited to be able to focus primarily on high school ministry.

There's definitely a difference between junior high and senior high students. This is why even smaller churches find the need to separate the two age groups at least occasionally. It's not just that some topics that are discussed in high school youth group aren't always appropriate for junior high students. There's a very pointed developmental difference between the two age groups. I'm thankful that I work with an amazing junior high pastor who knows what it takes to work with and reach junior high students, and I get to focus on high school students. Although I do enjoy visiting the junior high large group gathering to eat a cheese and bacon flavored cricket every now and again.

So, what's different about working with high school students? I'm glad you asked. Here are a few things youth workers should know about working with high school students:

High school students live in two worlds: a kid world and an adult world. And it's tough sometimes for them to know which one they're in. This is one of the issues of adolescence in general, but it becomes especially heightened during the later high school years. High school juniors and seniors have some seriously adult decisions to make--or at least prepare for--but they are still...kids. Some have jobs, some are enlisting in the armed forces, and all too many are primary caregivers for younger siblings. They can go from throwing food in the lunch room to working a job with adult responsibilities in a matter of minutes. It's no surprise they aren't always sure where to find their identity.

A Teenager's journey through depression to Jesus

Here's a really cool story from NewSpring Church and their "I Love My Church" series:




Make sure you check out the original page this was posted on. They include some resources on depression and working through it. God is good!

Edit: The embed code and link have been fixed.

Nancy Pearcey on the Inherent Value of Teenagers

Well, perhaps the title of the post is misleading.  She is not writing here specifically on teenagers, but the application is more than appropriate:

The Bible does not begin with the Fall but with Creation: Our value and dignity are rooted in the fact that we are created in the image of God, with the high calling of being His representatives on earth.  In fact, it is only because humans have such high value that sin is so tragic.  If we were worthless to begin with, then the all would be a trivial event.  When a cheap trinket is broken, we toss it aside with a shrug.  But when a priceless masterpiece is defaced, we are horrified.  It is because humans are the masterpiece of God's creation that the destructiveness of sin produces such horror and sorrow.

Nancy Pearey in Total Truth: Liberating Christianity from Its Cultural Captivity, page 87

Zits Cartoon: Facebook

As I've said before, I love Zits. The cartoon, that is. Here's another pretty good one on Facebook and parenting:

The Christian Century- Faith, nice and easy: The almost-Christian formation of teens

This article by Kenda Creasy Dean is an interesting look at Moralistic Therapeutic Deism, as outlined in Christian Smith's Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers.

Has something similar happened in American Christianity? Has a symbiote taken up residence without our knowledge? Yes, say Christian Smith and Melinda Denton, who are principal investigators for the National Study of Youth and Religion (a study of congregations in seven denominations). They're seeing an alternative faith in American teenagers, one that "feeds on and gradually co-opts if not devours" established religious traditions. This faith, called Moralistic Therapeutic Deism, "generally does not and cannot stand on its own," so its adherents are affiliated with traditional faith communities but unaware that they are practicing a very different faith than historic orthodox Christianity.

The money quote for me? "[I]ts adherents are affiliated with traditional faith communities but unaware that they are practicing a very different faith than historic orthodox Christianity."

USA Today: 'Forget pizza parties,' teens tell churches

This is a good article to ponder:

"Bye-bye church. We're busy." That's the message teens are giving churches today.

Only about one in four teens now participate in church youth groups, considered the hallmark of involvement; numbers have been flat since 1999. Other measures of religiosity — prayer, Bible reading and going to church — lag as well, according to Barna Group, a Ventura, Calif., evangelical research company. This all has churches canceling their summer teen camps and youth pastors looking worriedly toward the fall, when school-year youth groups kick in.

However, we need to consider any stats that are available (and always look into how they were found), then remember our mission as the Church: to tell students about Jesus and see them in a growing relationship with him.

Christian Century: Wired and unwired

Just as learning about adolescent development is important for youth workers, so is learning about topics like this. I continue to have concern that our culture--including Christians--continues to adopt technology without much discernment and see it as morally and theologically neutral. I'm not saying the sky is falling or trying to be an alarmist. I'm just saying that we need to be more discerning when we adopt and use these technologies, because they do change us and our students in some way:

According to several recent books and articles, however, it is not only our lives that have changed; our brains have changed as well. Clicking through Internet links, multitasking in multiple media, interrupting our train of thought to check our e-mail—these activities have been steadily rewiring the neural pathways of our brains. Neuroscience has confirmed that we are losing our capacity for sustained attention, contemplative thought and deep engagement. We risk other losses: we could lose our ability to become absorbed in long, complex books; we could staunch the creativity that flows from contemplation; our capacity for empathy, some fear, could weaken.

NYT: Long Road to Adulthood Is Growing Even Longer

An interesting article from the New York Times:

From the Obama administration’s new rule that allows children up to age 26 to remain on their parents’ health insurance to the large increase in the number of women older than 35 who have become first-time mothers, social scientists say young adulthood has undergone a profound shift.

People between 20 and 34 are taking longer to finish their educations, establish themselves in careers, marry, have children and become financially independent, said Frank F. Furstenberg, who leads the MacArthur Foundation Research Network on Transitions to Adulthood, a team of scholars who have been studying this transformation.

“A new period of life is emerging in which young people are no longer adolescents but not yet adults,” Mr. Furstenberg said.

National surveys reveal that an overwhelming majority of Americans, including younger adults, agree that between 20 and 22, people should be finished with school, working and living on their own. But in practice many people in their 20s and early 30s have not yet reached these traditional milestones.

Marriage and parenthood — once seen as prerequisites for adulthood — are now viewed more as lifestyle choices, according to a new report released by Princeton University and the Brookings Institution.

The existence of adolescence and how it has expanded is often of much debate in youth ministry, and something we need to continually study. Personally, I believe that we really do have a myth of adolescence in our culture, and that it has colored the way we do youth ministry (myself included). I'm still working through all this, and it's something we all need to think through.

NYT: Teenage Insults, Scrawled on Web, Not on Walls (Formspring.me)

I had never heard of this before today, but it's something I'll keep my eyes on. I'm not a big fan of getting worked up over the latest technology or social networking site, as though the world was safe for teenagers before [insert new fad here] existed, but now it is not. However, I am a big fan of keeping a pulse on how teenagers communicate and particular trends that influence their lives. I'm not really excited about Formspring.me at first glance.

Formspring.me, a relatively new social networking site, has become a magnet for comments, many of them nasty and sexual, among the Facebook generation.

While Formspring is still under the radar of many parents and guidance counselors, over the last two months it has become an obsession for thousands of teenagers nationwide, a place to trade comments and questions like: Are you still friends with julia? Why wasn’t sam invited to lauren’s party? You’re not as hot as u think u are. Do you wear a d cup? You talk too much. You look stupid when you laugh.

By setting up a free Formspring account and linking it to their Tumblr or Twitter or Facebook accounts, young people invite their hundreds of online friends to ask questions or post comments, without having to identify themselves.

In part, Formspring is just the latest place to hang out and exchange gossip, as teenagers have always done. But because of the anonymity, the banter is unvarnished.

Hat Tip: Kendall Harmon

NPR: Too Young? 10-Year-Old Hoops Star Catches Eyes

There's so much to say about this I don't know where to start. Perhaps I'll choose a bit of an unorthodox place: why do we hear about the next basketball star, or the next broadway star, or the next Bobby Fischer, or the next Joshua Bell? Why do we not discuss the next Mother Teresa? A have to admit that I am excited when I see a young baseball player with great talent. But do I get so excited when I see a ten-year-old exhibit the humility and thirst for God that is normally seen in an older, faithful believer that has been weathered by many detours in life?

Anyways, read for yourself:

USA Today: Survey: 72% of Millennials 'more spiritual than religious'

As we minister to students and their families this is a good reminder to us that we need to think of ourselves as missionaries to an increasingly non-Christian culture. We also need to seek out the bridges that we can build to our culture. Many, many students are actively seeking truth, I believe, and we need to be faithful in connecting them with the Gospel of Jesus so that they can find truth in him.

Most young adults today don't pray, don't worship and don't read the Bible, a major survey by a Christian research firm shows.

If the trends continue, "the Millennial generation will see churches closing as quickly as GM dealerships," says Thom Rainer, president of LifeWay Christian Resources. In the group's survey of 1,200 18- to 29-year-olds, 72% say they're "really more spiritual than religious."

Among the 65% who call themselves Christian, "many are either mushy Christians or Christians in name only," Rainer says. "Most are just indifferent. The more precisely you try to measure their Christianity, the fewer you find committed to the faith."

Key findings in the phone survey, conducted in August and released today:

•65% rarely or never pray with others, and 38% almost never pray by themselves either.

•65% rarely or never attend worship services.

•67% don't read the Bible or sacred texts.

Many are unsure Jesus is the only path to heaven: Half say yes, half no.

"We have dumbed down what it means to be part of the church so much that it means almost nothing, even to people who already say they are part of the church," Rainer says.

By the way, I'm reading a great book right now co-authored by Rainer (interviewed in the article) and his father called The Essential Church. I'm looking forward to reflecting on it when I've read it all, but the biggest takeaway for me is that we don't expect much out of our church members, especially the younger generations. In short, young adults and teenagers leave because we don't set for them high expectations of discipleship and service, and they wonder what the point of being a part of a local church body is if all that's expected is to just show up once or twice a week. But more on that later on...

NPR: Teen Texting Soars; Will Social Skills Suffer?

In light of my recent post on communicating the message of Jesus to teenagers, this is interesting:

History teacher Nini Halkett laments the bad spelling and writing that seem to get worse each year as texting becomes more widespread. She also worries that so much immersion in technology is stinting her students' interpersonal skills. She finds they much prefer to communicate via computer, especially when working up the courage to ask for something like an extension on a deadline.

"When they do finally come in and talk to you, they just seem more shy," Halkett says. "A lot of them have a harder time looking you in the eye and communicating directly with you."

Here's my question: how will quickly-developing technologies change how we as youth workers communicate with teenagers on a teaching level?

Teenagers as a Mission Field [Part 4 of 4]

Last week, I wrote about how youth pastors should look at teenagers as a mission field. To recap, the oversimplified job description of a missionary is:

1. Learn the language and customs of the culture which you are serving;
2. Use your knowledge and experience from #1 to communicate the truth of Jesus to the culture; and
3. Establish indigenous leadership that can effectively continue to lead God's people in that culture.

My question is How well do we do with the different parts of this job description? In this last post, I'll focus on #3: Establish indigenous leadership that can effectively continue to lead God's people in that culture.

What does "indigenous leadership" look like when teenagers are our mission field? This is a tricky question, because at some point in time in the next one to three years, each person in this mission field will no longer be a teenager. By the time a teenager is ready for a true leadership position, he or she may no longer be a teenager? There is no one way to answer the question of what indigenous leadership looks like when ministering to teenagers, but there are two principles that can help us along in our endeavor.

Teenagers as a Mission Field [Part 3 of 4]

Last week, I wrote about how youth pastors should look at teenagers as a mission field. To recap, the oversimplified job description of a missionary is:

1. Learn the language and customs of the culture which you are serving;
2. Use your knowledge and experience from #1 to communicate the truth of Jesus to the culture; and
3. Establish indigenous leadership that can effectively continue to lead God's people in that culture.

My question is How well do we do with the different parts of this job description? In this post, I'll focus on #2: Use your knowledge and experience from #1 to communicate the truth of Jesus to the culture.

This can be a very daunting task. I continually struggle with how to faithfully communicate Jesus' message to teenagers. I really don't have it all together, but here are five tips I've learned from many mistakes over the years:

Love students enough to communicate well.
When I was in high school, my sister introduced me to Chipotle, an amazing burrito place that started in Denver, CO near the University of Denver campus. I lived 90 minutes away in the mountains of Colorado, so she was nice enough to take me when I visited. Fast forward to my second year of college.

Teenagers as a Mission Field [Part 2 of 4]

Last week, I wrote about how youth pastors should look at teenagers as a mission field. To recap, the oversimplified job description of a missionary is:

1. Learn the language and customs of the culture which you are serving;
2. Use your knowledge and experience from #1 to communicate the truth of Jesus to the culture; and
3. Establish indigenous leadership that can effectively continue to lead God's people in that culture.

My question is How well do we do with the different parts of this job description? In this post, I'll focus a bit on #1: Learn the language and customs of the culture which you are serving.

Right off the bat, I need to acknowledge that youth culture is too complex and varied with many subcultures to give a fair treatment in this space.

Teenagers as a Mission Field [Part 1 of 4]

Earlier this week, we had a very interesting discussion in our weekly pastoral staff meeting. The conversation began when our worship pastor pointed out an article in the local paper (we are situated in Ogden, Utah) about the recent General Conference of the LDS church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints). Eventually, the conversation became about how we communicate the Gospel in a clear way to those who have a background in the LDS church. Essentially, here is what we affirmed as a staff: Just as a foreign missionary's goal is to communicate the truth of the Gospel to the culture he or she is serving in that culture's language, our goal is to do the same in our culture. In our discussion, we touched on the use of different worship settings and illustration tools, such as drama, cardboard testimonies, or other creative avenues.

Here is the basic principal that we hold on to at our church: we do not change the message of the Gospel, but we will do everything we can, short of sin, to faithfully communicate it to those who need to hear it.

NYT: 9 Teenagers Are Charged After Classmate’s Suicide

An issue to keep in our sights as youth workers. Perhaps it is because I am getting older, but it seems to me that teenagers continue to have--in general-- a lot more difficulties to face than when I was in high school:

It is not clear what some students at South Hadley High School expected to achieve by subjecting a freshman to the relentless taunting described by a prosecutor and classmates.

Certainly not her suicide. And certainly not the multiple felony indictments announced on Monday against several students at the Massachusetts school.

The prosecutor brought charges Monday against nine teenagers, saying their taunting and physical threats were beyond the pale and led the freshman, Phoebe Prince, to hang herself from a stairwell in January.

The charges were an unusually sharp legal response to the problem of adolescent bullying, which is increasingly conducted in cyberspace as well as in the schoolyard and has drawn growing concern from parents, educators and lawmakers.

Great, Brief Overview on Faith Development

One thing I find myself really wishing I had given more time to studying when I was in seminary is Faith Development. There's been tons of research on physical development and brain development, but what about faith development? A lot of what we studied in seminary was based on identity development or personality development, much of it based on Erik Erikson's work. For those who are distrustful of classical phychology and sociology, here's where I find it useful: the heart of the question we are asking is "How does a child's/adolescent's development relate to his or her relationship with Jesus?" I do believe that we can gain a lot of insight here that can refine how we "do" youth ministry.

I've been doing a bit of thinking on the subject lately, and I came across a good, brief explanation of social development. The entire article by Meredith Miller and Kara Powell is well worth your time, but here's what initially interested me:

Background: the Development of Four Basic Identity Phases
Beginning in the 1960’s, psychologist James Marcia (based on Erik Erikson’s work) developed four basic phases of identity development: diffusion, foreclosure, moratorium and achievement.1 The characteristics of each phase are as follows:

• Diffusion: This status can be understood as the “don’t know, don’t care” status. This stage describes adolescents who have not experienced any identity “crisis” or even done any exploration, nor do they have a stable set of commitments. Persons in diffusion have simply not thought about their identity. They are not sure what they believe about key issues such as religion, politics, gender roles, or occupation, nor are they concerned with them.


• Foreclosure: This is a status in which adolescents have definite opinions about their identity, but those opinions have been inherited from external forces rather than cultivated from within themselves. They have stable commitments, but have not experienced exploration or crisis. For example, they vote how their parents vote, not because they have chosen to agree with their parents, but because they have never questioned the political views they inherited.


• Moratorium: The moratorium status is the stage in which individuals challenge what they have inherited. They question who they are and what they believe and are unable to land on clearly defined beliefs and standards. This is the stage in which individuals challenge what they have inherited. For this reason, they will often express doubts and uncertainties about what they believe.


• Achievement: The goal of identity development is to reach the achieved status. It is the status wherein individuals have explored who they are and what they believe and hold stable commitments to a set of beliefs, values and standards. Their identity is defined, and they have thought through their perspectives.

The phases are progressive: foreclosure is further along than diffusion, moratorium is further along than foreclosure, and achievement is the most developed of them all.

I think it's well worth a youth pastor's time to become acquainted with basic human development theories and paradigms. I'm blessed to have a wife who majored in Human Development in college and graduated from seminary with a degree in counseling and chaplaincy, so she's a great resource to me (not to mention all her great books on the subject!). If you're looking for a good place to start, contact a nearby seminary or Christian college with a reputable youth ministry program.