Some Overdue Book Reviews

It's been a while since I've put up any book reviews, so I thought I'd jump back into practice with a couple of books I've enjoyed in the past few months.

New: First Steps For New Christ Followers by Andy Blanks
Honestly, I'm usually very skeptical of any kind of devotional book aimed at teenagers. Most of the ones that I've picked up over the past decade feel like they were written by someone who believes that the only way to get a teenager to read a book is to use lots of outdated slang that teenagers maybe used ten years ago and put a picture of a teenager doing something radically cool on the cover--you know, like those boards on wheels so many of them are riding these days. Many are watered down at best and very few actually make much of Jesus, other than to paint him as a cool guy with a rebellious streak.

Video of the Week: Mark and Grace Driscoll on Sexual Compatibility and Sex Before Marriage

This week's video is Mark and Grace Driscoll answering the question, "I find it unrealistic that sex should be saved for after marriage. Shouldn't we be sexually compatible?" This is a question that I sometimes get from teenagers when we teach on sex, and Mark and Grace give a very good, succinct explanation (especially the last three minutes of the video). It might make a good video clip for any of you who are teaching on relationships and sex in your youth ministries:

Unrealistic Expectations of a Youth Ministry Spouse

Credit: Creative Commons (James Stencilowsky)

Jennifer and I met nine years ago on a youth ministry retreat at Camp Id-Ra-Ha-Je in Bailey, CO. While we didn't start dating until almost a year later (that's a story I'll let Jennifer share--it's far more interesting and a lot funnier when told from her perspective), it was fitting that we met while serving side by side in ministry, because that's exactly what we spent much of our time doing during our three years of dating and the first part of our marriage. She came on just about every retreat, and when I wrote thank-you notes to my leaders, I would address her as "my favorite volunteer."

Today, Jennifer no longer serves as a volunteer in our youth ministry. She still has a heart for young women who are in high school, but she spends most of her volunteer time leading Bible studies at our church on Thursday mornings and evenings. While we both miss spending the time we used to spend together serving in youth ministry, Jennifer has definitely found her niche and is really good at what she does, and it's very fulfilling for her.

Lesson on Loving Your Family from Jeff Hornacek

Jeff Hornacek before a free-throw attempt

One of the highlights of my work week is when my two girls come in my office and interrupt what I'm doing.

Since my wife, Jennifer, leads Bible studies at our church and is a part of MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers), it's not uncommon for my 2- and 4-year olds to come by my office at church once or twice a week before they head off to play with their friends in the church childcare. If you know me at all, you know that when I'm working at my desk, I tend to be focused and don't really like interruptions. Jennifer calls it my "work mode" and knows pretty quickly if she calls me when I'm right in the middle of it.

Even if I'm in "work mode," my girls have a free pass to come and see me in my office, give me a hug, knock a few things off my cluttered desk, and draw on my whiteboard. The only time they don't have that pass is if I am counseling someone in my office. They've even interrupted meetings before, and I'm always happy when they do.

I learned it from Jeff Hornacek.

Jeff Hornacek? Former Iowa State University basketball star and one of the best shooters to play in the NBA?

Yep. He taught me something very important about always having time for your kids. Even when he was right in the middle of a game, he had time to say hello to his kids.

One thing that Hornacek was known for was stroking the side of his face several times before each and every free throw he attempted. Most basketball players have a routine they go through before attempting a free throw, but not many were so obvious as Hornacek's face-stroking routine--especially considering that it required him to wipe the sweat off his hand before taking the free throw. And the reason behind his routine? It was a secret way of him waving and saying "hi" to his kids. Hornacek explained in an interview in 2000 that his kids wanted him to wave to them on TV when he was playing. He explained to them that he couldn't just walk up to a TV camera in the middle of a game, but he developed a secret way of doing it in each and ever game: stroking his face before he took a free throw. "And this means, 'Hi, I love you, guys.' It was our secret wave back in the days. It's not a secret anymore."

So even Jeff Hornacek, an NBA all-star, had time for his kids in the middle of a basketball game, whether it was a preseason game or the NBA Finals. And it didn't hurt him one bit. His career free throw percentage was 87.7%, and in his final season, he shot 95% from the free-throw line. Not too shabby. So the next time you don't feel like you have time in your work schedule to love your kids, call your wife to check in, or meet your family for an impromptu lunch, remember: if Jeff Hornacek can do it, so can you.

Raising kids away from extended family

Credit: Creative Commons (Brian Snelson)

2009 marked a big change for our family when I accepted a ministry position at a church in another state. At the time, we had a one-year-old daughter (Bethany) with another (Samantha) on the way. Not only were we moving to a new state, we were also moving away from most of our family. Up until that point in her life, Bethany had enjoyed the blessing of seeing all of her grandparents, eight aunts and uncles, and six cousins on a regular basis. Her mom and dad had enjoyed the blessing of lots of free babysitting as well.

We only moved one state and a 7.5 hour drive away. Though we were still within a day's drive of our family, the days of free babysitting, impromptu dinners with family, or just being able to have one of our parents take their granddaughter out for some ice cream any old afternoon were over. In many ways, we were transitioning to a new way of life.

When I sit for a while and think about it, a big part of me is sad that our girls don't see their extended family very often, and that my mom and siblings are now spread out over four states and thousands of miles. But I also know that we as a family, and especially our girls, are blessed to have our "Utah family" in our adopted state. In a day where 45% of all grandparents live at least 200 miles away from their grand kids, I'd be willing to bet many other families are in the same boat. Here are some things that have helped our family since we found ourselves 500 miles away from the closest extended family:

Video of the Week: Dancing in the Minefields by Andrew Peterson (Official Music Video)

I'm in a particularly musical mood as I queue this week's Video of the Week. I love Andrew Peterson's music, and I love this song--it's a great video, too. Jennifer and I had dinner this week with a couple I have the blessing of marrying this summer. As Jennifer and I shared some stories from our marriage and how marriage is different than we ever imagined, I thought of this song.

"I do" are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I've heard
Is a good place to begin

'Cause the only way to find your life
Is to lay your own life down
And I believe it's an easy price
For the life that we have found

So, this week's video is dedicated to my love, Jennifer. I'll gladly walk with you in the shadowlands--in some ways we already have. If you're married, take a few minutes, sit down with your spouse today, and recount the ways God has brought you through the minefields: