Video of the Week: "Gotcha Day"

If you aren't too familiar with adoption, "Gotcha Day" is often used to refer to the day an adopted child is given over to his or her new parents. Many families celebrate the day each year like you would a birthday. Check out this video of one family's Gotcha Day...better grab a tissue:

Video of the Week: The Drop Box

This is a trailer for a documentary about Pastor Lee Jong-rak, who came up with an incredible way to care for Korean orphans who would otherwise be abandoned. The documentary's website states, "In December 2009, a Korean pastor named Lee Jong-rak built a wooden "drop box" on the outer wall of his home. But the box wasn't intended for clothing, food, or school supplies, it was meant to collect unwanted babies."

I can't wait to see the entire film.

"The Drop Box" - Documentary PROMO from Brian Ivie on Vimeo.

Guest Post: Twenty-One Ways Churches Can Support Adopting Parents

Credit: Creative Commons (The Wolf)

Today I'm pleased to have a guest post from Christine Niles. I've been following Christine's blog for a few months now, and she's been a great help as my wife and I begin our adoption journey. She is a writer and project manager with a heart for orphans, and a mother of two girls adopted from Ukraine at ages 12 and 14. Christine blogs about adoption, parenting, and writing at www.riverofthoughts.com. Follow her on Twitter @croyseniles.

When we set out to adopt, we didn't really know anyone else in our church who had adopted, or who was adopting, or who wanted to adopt.

We thought we were the only ones.

We were wrong.

Our church has become more intentional since then about supporting adoptive families. We've recently kicked off a community initiative to connect churches in our area to work together to support the many different aspects of the adoptive, foster, and orphan care efforts in our community.

But we still see families feeling alone.

We still hear church leaders asking "What can we do?"

The answer to that, as with so many others related to adoption is: It depends.

Whether or not your church offers a formal adoption ministry, it's critical that the principles of community, safety, and grace are priorities within your church for adoptive families to feel supported. Sure, families often need practical help, but most importantly, they need to feel that the community around them will be supportive and encouraging.

Here are twenty-one ways that churches can be supportive for parents who are considering adopting one or more children, or already have:

Adopting in a Broken System

Note: Every weekend we'll (Jennifer and Benjer) share a bit of our journey to adopting a child. This post is by Benjer. To read more posts on adoption, visit our adoption page.

"Do for one, what you wish you could do for many.”

Those words are from Andy Stanley, the pastor of North Point Community Church outside of Atlanta, GA. And as we continue our journey to adopt a child, they are very important words to me. Because when it comes to adoption--like so many other things people do in the world to help others--the issues that are involved are far more complicated than we wish they were. We live in a broken world, and there are a lot of hurting people in all cultures that need help. It's easy for one person to look at all that could be done and feel overwhelmed.

When it comes to international adoption, the issue is definitely complicated. It's not just that there are so many millions of children in the world that don't have parents. UNICEF estimates that there are currently 18 million children in the world who have lost both parents, and an additional 135 million who have lost one parent. Those statistics alone are overwhelming. What makes the issue so difficult is that broken, sinful systems make it almost impossible to bring about positive, lasting change.

As Jennifer and I spent time considering whether to begin the adoption process this past fall, we consulted people who had adopted, both here locally and on adoption blogs. We came across several arguments against international adoption--some well-formulated and some that were simply thinly veiled racism. One of the most popular arguments is that the amount of money that an international adoption costs would be better spent as a charitable contribution to the country we hope to adopt from. After all, wouldn't it be better to write a check to support infrastructure in that country or pay for programs that would prevent the very circumstances that creates so many orphans in the first place?

Our child waits...

Note: Every weekend we'll (Jennifer and Benjer) share a bit of our journey to adopting a child. This week's post is by Jennifer. To read more posts on adoption, visit our adoption page.

This past Christmas morning was very traditional for our family: wake-up, get excited about presents, go open presents, take lots of pictures, have a breakfast casserole and caramel rolls, and then get ready for church. But there was one thing about this past Christmas that was very different, at least for me. We were missing one of our children.

As I was watching my two little girls, Samantha (2) and Bethany (almost 4), opening their presents with joy in a warm house, I suddenly found myself thinking about the child we are in the process of adopting. You see, we are looking to adopt a young boy (not an infant) from Bulgaria. Depending on our adoption timeline, chances are that he has already been born. He was not with us. He was not in a warm house, by a Christmas tree, opening a pile of Christmas presents with his family. As best as we know, he was in an orphanage.

Why Are We Adopting Now?

Note: Every weekend we'll (Jennifer and Benjer) share a bit of our journey to adopting a child. This post is by Jennifer. To read more posts on adoption, visit our adoption page.

Why Are We Adopting Now (or in three-plus years when all is said an done)?
As I (Jennifer) sat down to write this post I became aware of some anxiety that wells up in me when I know I am going to talk to an unknown audience about our new and growing adoption story. It turns out there is no small number of people out there who have an emotional reaction when you tell them you are going to adopt internationally, and sometimes it is a negative emotional reaction. This has been somewhat difficult for me because I never know what someone I am talking to will think or how they will react. It has left me feeling defensive and reluctant to share. When talking to another mother with both biological and adopted children recently she said, “When you tell people you are pregnant, everyone congratulates you. When you tell them you are going to adopt, they seem to think that their approval is needed.” Interesting point, isn’t it? Although, even when you give birth biologically, if there is a perceived moral issue involved, then people also tend to think their approval is needed. For example, the Duggars of the 19 Kids and Counting show has had their share of disapproval.

While there are moral arguments both for and against international adoption, we did not decide to move forward with this international adoption at this time because of these arguments. Actually we never thought we would be adopting this way at all.

Changes to the blog, changes for our family

If you're a regular visitor to this blog, you've noticed a new look this week. Most notably, name (but not the address) of the blog has changed from "Jesus and Teenagers" to "Discipleship Family Ministry." While most of the ministry posts will continue to center around youth ministry, I've found myself writing more on parenting and marriage, as well as being a follower of Jesus while serving in ministry. Hopefully the new name reflects that.

In addition to the new look, there are now advertisements around here, as well as in the blog feed. This blog has always been a hobby and costs only a few dollars a year to maintain (for the domain name), so I've never really sought to advertise. The reason for the change is this: my wife Jennifer and I have submitted an application to adopt internationally (from eastern Europe), and we will soon begin the process of raising funds to help pay for the adoption.

Video of the Week: Isaiah's Story

My wife pointed me towards this video this week, and I had to share it:

Isaiah's Story from 31Films on Vimeo.