We all know that burnout happens in youth ministry. Even though the "18-month-average" has been debunked and solid research can't give us the average "shelf life" of a youth pastor, we do have plenty of anecdotal evidence that crashing and burning in youth ministry occurs far more than we would like. Sometimes I think back to the 20 or so other students in my first seminary class, "Foundations of Youth and Family Ministry." How many of us from that class have burned out within the past five or six years and are no longer in ministry?
I'm thankful that I've been in youth ministry for over seven years. But I know that I'm not immune to burnout. There have been many things that have been a part of my life that I realized would lead to burnout. If you're looking to speed up your road to burnout, here are a few tips to hasten your journey:
Believe that I can do it all. I can't do it all. Now, repeat that after me: I can't do it all. I can't solve every problem, I can't counsel every student, I can't be every small group's leader, and I can't make everyone happy. Thankfully, God doesn't ask us to. He just asks us to be faithful with what he gives us and what he's given our hands to do. Now, that's a tall order, to be sure, but it's a lot easier when I'm not also trying to do things God doesn't expect me to do.
Neglect my relationship with God. I'm a sinner. I need God's grace, not just to save me, but to do just about anything right. When Jesus is at the center of my life, he'll likely be at the center of the ministry I'm in charge of. And when things go horribly wrong, I'll know where to turn.
Believe the best and worst of what people say about you. I stole this one from Perry Noble. Basically, if your mood depends primarily on what others think or say about you, you're going to burn out. Listen to criticism, take compliments with humility, but at the end of the day, make sure your worth comes from God and your primary goal is to glorify him by being obedient to him.
Neglect my family. When I was single, I was a part-time youth pastor who had another job and attended seminary full-time. But I never really felt pressed for time. Youth website needed some work? I'd just stay at church late on Wednesday nights and put an extra 3-4 hours in. Retreat coming up? No problem. Just put in a little less time on school assignments. But now I have a family. And because I want to be committed to my family, I just don't have the ability to simply work an extra 3-4 hours on any given day. This doesn't mean that there aren't times when the workload is heavier than others--that's kind of been the story of this past month for us--but sometimes I just have to be able to put the work away and love my family. And loving my family takes time, and it's not something I can delegate to a volunteer. In the short-term, it might feel to me like I'm not being as effective of a youth pastor by leaving a pile of work on my desk to go feed ducks with my daughters, but in the end, my family--especially my wife--are my biggest encouragers, and loving them makes me a better youth pastor. I'm far from the perfect husband and dad, but I do know that when I neglect my family and make them feel second-class, it's a lot easier to burn out.
Stay in a ministry job because you need the paycheck. I almost didn't include this one, because times are tough. Life is scary enough without having to look for a job in a bad job market. But to stay in an unhealthy ministry situation could burn you out and do damage to your family. And if you burn out, you'll either get fired or finally quit, which will leave you without a job anyways. This doesn't mean that you have to quit before you find another position (unless it's a really unethical situation), but begin to see if God is leading you elsewhere. You're only stuck once you convince yourself that you're stuck.
What are other ways to be sure you'll burn out in youth ministry?
Other posts in this series:
Youth Ministry, Longevity, and Calling - Part 1
Youth Ministry, Longevity, and Calling - Part 2: Am I Called?
Youth Ministry, Longevity, and Calling - Part 4: Is It Okay to Start in Youth Ministry and Move Elsewhere?
