Last week, I was invited by another youth pastor in town to a youth ministry network meeting in our town. I'd been invited before and never attended, but when I heard this meeting would have a free lunch, I decided to go.
When I arrived at the meeting, I made sure to get my lunch first and sit as close to the exit as possible, hoping to sneak out as soon as possible. Unfortunately, I was not fast enough, and before I could finish my pizza everybody began going around the circle and "checking in." I made the mistake of sitting next to the network coordinator, and so after he said how things were going for him, he asked me to go next.
Of course, I began by sharing how great things were going in our youth group, how attendance numbers were up (they usually always are in my youth group), and how many complements I'd received lately when I taught at Sunday night youth group. Of course, everyone was stunned into silence at how amazing I'd been leading my church's youth group. I figured that would be the end of my "check in," but the network coordinator finally spoke up and said, "I'm glad things are going well ministry-wise for you. But how are you doing?" He even asked how my marriage was going! I don't know what any of that has to do with how awesome my youth group is. I then had to listen to everyone else shared how they were doing--some of them barely even talked about their youth group attendance! The worst part is that at the end of the meeting, there was an update about a joint evangelism event most of the churches in town are doing next month for the teenagers in our area. How in the world can we compare attendance numbers when everyone joins together for the same event?
Is this normal? Should I be concerned that so many youth workers in town get together so often to pray for each other and team up on events? I'm very concerned.
Sincerely,
Disconnected in Des Moines
Disconnected,
What you've described is actually a common occurrence for many youth ministry networks. I've been to a few myself, with similar results.
No matter how nice the other youth workers seem (or how often their church provides a free lunch for you), don't forget that they are after the same teenagers you are. You can't let your guard down for even a second. In addition, many times those meetings will try to take your focus off of ministry and onto other things, like your marriage, your family, your prayer life, and even your own relationship with Jesus. You may even be asked to pray for a rival youth worker in town if your youth ministry network encourages prayer partners.
I'm afraid the only thing to do is to resist the free food and never go back to a meeting again. If you do get approached to attend a youth ministry network meeting, the best thing to do is loudly reiterate how amazing things are going for you in ministry and how you don't have time or need to go to those meetings. Remember, youth ministry is best done alone, not together. How else are we supposed to know who the best youth group and youth pastor in town are?
Sincerely,
Youth Pastor
Dear Youth Pastor is a public service to the good people who read this blog, and letters are published every Thursday. To ask Youth Pastor a question, just email him at DearYouthPastor@hotmail.com.
