Over the next couple of weeks, I will be attending eight or so graduation ceremonies, plus many graduation parties. This class that is graduating is especially meaningful to me, because they entered high school when I began serving as the high school pastor at my church. These students have a special place in my heart, and I expect they always will.
In the midst of graduation parties and seeing an endless sea of graduates listen to their name called and walk across a stage, I am hit with the realization that I no longer have the same relationship with the students who have spent at least the past couple of years at our church. Sure, I'll try to follow up with just about all of them during their first year in college. And there will be a few that I'll be in closer contact with than others, not to mention the handful that will end up serving in our high school ministry once they've been out of high school long enough themselves. But despite spending just about every Sunday together for the past few years, despite the late night texts and the occasional tearful nights in the emergency room, and despite spending a week each summer in close quarters serving people in the inner-city or backpacking through the Colorado mountains, I may never have a meaningful conversation with some of those students again.
To some extent, it's supposed to be this way. Sure, we need to stay in touch with graduates to help them transition to college, military, or work life. I'll make a point to ask every graduate over the next year whether they've found a church and how their life is going. But when students graduate, they usually just move on. And when they move on to good things, to serving God in new contexts or finding a new church or campus ministry to be a part of, that's the way it's supposed to be. It doesn't usually end well when a graduate just can't let go of youth group.
All the graduates I prayed for on stage this weekend mean a lot to me. I know some better than others, but it's hard to imagine that in just a few months, I won't see them in our high school group on Sundays, and that many of them will be in different cities. And as I think about that fact, a series of questions pops into my mind: Did we do all we could for these graduates? Did we tell them the truth about Jesus? Did we help their families be places where Jesus really was the center of their home? Did all the trips, retreats, counseling sessions, sermons, small groups, mission trips, and tears matter? Was I a good pastor to them? Did I help find people to be mentors to students whose parents would never encourage their teenagers to follow Jesus? Was it...enough?
Some may say that those are questions I shouldn't dwell on. One plants, one waters, but it's God who gives the growth, you'll tell me. And that's true enough. But there is a burden on my heart, and I think it's supposed to be there. And unless I'm mistaken, it's a burden that comes a little closer to the surface in soul of a youth worker each time we see a graduate donning a gown and funny-looking hat while dancing across that stage. Most pastors know that in ministry, people are always coming in and out of our lives. But as youth workers, we usually say "goodbye" to a good chunk of students we love each and every May. Though we're not the only influence on their lives, we have been given a sort of authority in their lives as youth pastors for a handful of years. And we can't help but wonder if we've spent our few years of influence on those teenagers wisely.
So if you're like me and will be spending a considerable amount of time saying "congratulations" over then next few weeks, know that someone else feels the same burden you do. It's part of our nature to wonder if we've done everything we could have and should have. But know also that it's foolish to ask the question, Was it enough? I know you want to do everything you can to love teenagers in the name of Jesus, but if you'll forgive me for saying so, you can never do enough. That's not our job. Only God is enough. And so I guess in a way, if you've pointed them toward God, then yes, that's enough. And know that God loves each of those students more than you ever could, no matter how big your heart might be. Send them off with a blessing, knowing that their lives are in God's hand.
