My first week at youth group, Peter handed me a 10-dollar bill and told me to choose one of the high school guys to go out to coffee with. The point was clear: my job was to hang out with high school students. That set the stage for an incredibly fun three years at that church doing youth ministry, hanging out at the bus station where kids would wait up to an hour for their bus, mentoring kids at coffee shops, and doing all sorts of "relational" ministry that probably would get me fired today, such as driving to see a movie with nine kids in the back of a pickup truck. By the end of those three years, I was hooked on youth ministry, and I got a job at a local church as a youth director when I graduated from college.
Ten years later, I still love the "incarnational" part of youth ministry: going to soccer games and high school musicals, having a coke at McDonald's with a few students, leading a small group of seniors, and being present in a student's life when their whole world comes crashing down in some way. That part of youth ministry is important, and any youth pastor who wants to do ministry like Jesus did and really love teenagers needs to be willing to be with teenagers. If that's not something you like doing on some level, you probably shouldn't be in youth ministry.
That being said, there's something you need to hear:
You're spending too much time with students.
To some youth workers, that will seem like a sacrilegious statement. Isn't spending time with teenagers what student ministry is about? Isn't that why we became youth pastors?
I understand you love being with students. I do, too. A highlight of my week is Tuesday night, when I get to lead a small group of juniors and seniors in high school. I love tutoring at a local high school each week. And if I had to choose between being cooped up in an office or being at a soccer game cheering on a student, I'd probably pick the soccer game every time. But you shouldn't be spending all your time with students, and here are some reasons why:
Preparing solid messages takes time. It doesn't matter who you are: if you're winging your messages every week or just throwing something together at Starbucks a half an hour before youth group, you're not taking your biblical responsibility as a pastor to teenagers seriously by "accurately handling the word of truth" (2 Timothy 2:15). Even if you're using someone else's curriculum, a certain amount of time is needed to give your students your best. You may not be in a full-time ministry position where you can devote several hours each week to serious study and message prep, but we all know the difference between throwing something together at the last minute and a lesson you've given some amount of serious thought and prayer to.
Developing a team of leaders takes time. If you have charge over a youth ministry (whether at your local church or in a parachurch organization), part of your responsibility is to raise up and train other leaders. It doesn't matter if 2 or 200 teenagers attend your youth group; a leader who isn't gathering other leaders around him or her isn't really a leader. Teams are much more effective than individuals, and if you're feeling burned out because of all you are doing in ministry, one reason might be that you're trying to do it all yourself. And before you protest that Jesus was all about being with people and not building organizational structures, don't forget that even Jesus sent out his disciples to do work that he was most likely very capable of doing himself (see Luke 10:1-23).
Serving parents takes time. Parents--for better or for worse--have a far greater impact in a teenager's life than you or I ever will. If you don't believe that, then you likely don't believe in serving and ministering to parents. Yes, there will always be parents you can't reach. But chances are there are several parents of teenagers in your church who would welcome a little nudge to become better disciplers of their kids. This is a huge ministry opportunity that I believe churches miss out on. What if you spent just two hours less per week at football games or interacting with teenagers on Facebook so that you could spend that time pouring into parents. I'd be willing to bet if you made that commitment for a year, you'd be amazed at the results.
Chime in: Do you think youth pastors spend way too much time with students?
