Dear CHS Parents:
I am writing to you in regards to the horrible tragedy that occurred yesterday on the campus of Virginia Tech University. Though the shooting incident happened about 1,500 miles away, it still has obviously burdened our hearts. Today, your children will likely be discussing the shooting at school with their friends both in and out of the classroom. Teenagers in our community will process this event in many different ways. Your children may not be affected by it at all, or they might be very disturbed by what happened. I am not a parent and don’t know what it’s like to parent teenagers, but I would like to list a few recommendations counselors and psychologists give when it comes to helping teenagers and younger children process through a tragedy, including the one that occurred at Virginia Tech yesterday.
Provide opportunity for discussion. Your kids may be thinking about what happened, but might not be sure how to talk about it. Take some time to sit down with your kids and ask them how they are feeling or what they are thinking. Allow them to express their emotions and affirm them. Ask them what kids and teachers are saying about it at school. They may not be thinking anything at all, but at least open the door to open discussion.
If you sense fear in your kids, remind them that you and their schools do everything they can to keep them safe. It’s natural to wonder if such a tragedy can happen to us, and our community has indeed experienced such a tragedy at Columbine High School. Some kids might feel unsafe. We can’t promise them that nothing bad will ever happen, but you can tell them that you wouldn’t live where you do or send them to the schools you do if you didn’t think it was safe for them to be there.
Pray. Pray with your whole family for the victims and their families, and for the shooter and his family as well. When we are uncertain, it’s important to look to God for support and comfort.
Turn off the T.V. The overload of media information when tragedies occur can be unsettling for kids and adults. It’s okay to keep informed, but the T.V. or radio does not need to be on all the time for us to know what’s going on.
Hug your kids. Tragedies usually help us to appreciate our families and be thankful for what we have. Express this to your children in an age-appropriate way, and let them know how thankful you are for them and how much you love them. Continue doing this even when the sting of the tragedy begins to fade.
I am praying for you and your families, as well as those who have lost loved ones this week. Please let me know if there’s any way we at CHS might serve you better.
In Christ,
Benjer McVeigh
Youth and Family Minister
Episcopal Church of the Holy Spirit
